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The Muthafuckin' D
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Joined: Mar 2008
Gender: Male 
Posts: 323
Location: California
Karma: 0 |  | My Big Gay Wedding Experience
« Thread Started on Oct 26, 2008, 3:15pm » | ![[Quote]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/buttons/quote.gif) |
If you don't want to read all of this you're a douche, but here is something that presents the basic concepts in much shorter audio form set to music. It's a track from my upcoming comedy mixtape, Baby Talk, and is currently available on the Blue (Promo Single) & the Blue (Radio Single), which are available for free download. However, if you're too much of a douche to read this you may also be too much of a douche download a whole .rar file, so here are the individual .mp3 files:
Sank Tittie
Sank Tittie (Radio Version)
Oddly, the radio version may even be more humorous than the original version, due to my bizarre editing technique.
My Big Gay Wedding Experience
I don't do weddings. Marriage is the American dream. Every little girl is taught to dream of the day she will grow-up, fall in love and get married. Then she will have a home with a white picked fence, a dog, a cat and two and a half kids. This is how our society works. This is what we're conditioned to believe is life. We're born, we learn to walk, talk and poop in the toilet. We go to school. We graduate. We go to more school. We graduate again. Somewhere between pooping and graduating we fall in love. Then we get married find the perfect little home in the perfect little community and have babies who grow up to be married and find the perfect little home in the perfect little community and have babies who grow up to be married and find the perfect…fuckin' shit, it's an endless cycle.
The wedding itself is the wardrobe to this Narnia. It's the television set to 485 Mapleton Drive in Mayfield. A simple jump of the broom magically transforms teenagers to adults. And this portal is extravagant. It's a fairy tale whirlwind that ends with the promise of "they all lived happily ever after." The wedding will magically transport you to your very own wonderland. However, this promise doesn't apply to you if you love the wrong person. If you don't force your emotions into conformity the rabbit-hole is just a hole and the looking-glass is just a mirror.
This is why I won't have anything to do with weddings. I won't do it for friends or family or anybody. Weddings are high school parties. If you're not one of the cool kids you don't get invited. They're the country club. If you're not of a certain social standing you can't get in. They're pre-early-20th century voting. If you're not a rich white land owning male, you have no say. They're the white's only restaurant. They're the front of the bus in the 60s. They're only available to the exclusive members of the club, like those 80s jackets. They're not open for everybody.
Still I attended a wedding this past weekend (October 17, 2008 – October 19, 2008). The wedding I attended was not in any way traditional. It took place at a college. The entire event transpired on a small patch of grass next to a stair case inhabited by constant random passers-by. The whole wedding was very small, contrary to what the title of this might lead one to believe. The guest list consisted of immediate family, a cousin and a few close friends. I intentionally know very few people and I literally knew almost everyone there. It was very informal in attire, which no one told me (a fact made obvious by the pictures). The whole planning process was very rushed.
There were small flashes of the traditional. There were two best friends who were very much in love vowing to remain that way for as long as they both shall live. There were some tears of joy, even if they were by a man. There was the tossing of the bouquet, which was caught by a nine-year-old. I said flashes of the traditional. This ceremony was gay, not in the traditional gay wedding ceremony sense, but the literal gay wedding sense and Jesica and Grace wouldn't have it any other way.
The rush in this case was not to get it in before the rich spouse-to-be died. No one was going into the military. No one was going off to prison. No one's terminally ill. There's no baby on the way. These two people, who are best friends in love for over 10 years, wanted to pledge their undying love for each other with the grandest of romantic gestures, the pinnacle of romance, telling each other, and the world, that there is no one with whom they would rather spend the remainder of their lives. But they couldn't be extravagant, like Jesica's cousin, who was married two weeks prior, even if they so desired, because they were given a very specific window in which to perform this act. They have to have it done before November 4, 2008, just in case there are enough ignorant douche bags in California to pass a proposition, Proposition 8, which is a constitutional amendment eliminating the right of same-sex couples to marry. A proposition making it legal, constitutional and just a-o.k. to discriminate based solely on one's sexual orientation.
I guess it makes sense, if we think about it. We can't legally keep women from voting anymore. We can't legally not serve black people in white restaurants anymore or limit their water intake to "colored drinking fountains" and there are no longer any laws left that force them to sit in the back of the bus. We can't legally keep Japanese people in camps anymore. The Original Americans have broken free from our good old fashioned oppression with their damn casinos. Who's left to legally oppress? Oh yeah, homosexuals.
Homosexuals are easy targets, because people are afraid of homosexuals. Heterosexuals won't stand-up for homosexuals, because if they do they could be linked with homosexuality. It will bring their sexuality into question. Homosexuals are scary, because anyone can turn gay at any time. Deep down inside there could be a little bit of gaiety hiding waiting to break free and be fabulous. No one worries they may be black or Japanese deep down inside. Even worse it could happen to our kids. And gay is gross. But they can't say that. So what is the official argument against same-sex marriage? How can we justify denying people, American people, rights? We're fighting a war, sending thousands of young men and women off to fight and die while spending billions in the middle of an economic crisis, to bring freedom and democracy to Iraq, how do we justify fighting a war here in America to deny people freedom?
The "Yes On 8" commercial, that's playing here in California, warns that other states, wherein same-sex marriage is legal, are teaching in schools that marriage can be not only between "a prince and a princess," but also "a prince and a prince," or something like that. So the argument against is that children might learn it's alright to accept people for who they are or it's alright to be who they are. They may even learn, calamity of all calamities, it's o.k. to be gay. Can you imagine the horror of children who are actually accepting of other people, children who don't hold our prejudices? How can parents keep up with their children's proper ignorance training if schools are countering their efforts with anti-ignorance lessons? Of course, according to my Official Voter Information Guide, "no child can be forced, against the will of their parents, to be taught anything about health and family issues. California law prohibits it." So that argument is null and void. And, in reality, passing this proposition will teach children that it's not o.k. to accept people for who they are, and that it's not o.k. for them to be who they are. It will teach them that it's o.k. to discriminate and persecute people for simply being who they are. It's in our state's constitution.
The other BIG argument to validate making ignorance and discrimination law is defending the definition of the word marriage. The word marriage has to be defined as being between a man and a woman. It is so imperative that this definition remains intact that is well worth tearing the very fabric of American values by denying people, American people, freedoms and rights. It is important enough that we must alter our state's constitution to include, not only bigotry and discrimination, but actual laws that deny rights for American citizens.
Who is actually against two people finding love and wanting to spend the rest of their lives together? Certainly not America or Americans, this is the land of the free with liberty and justice for all. Denying people the right, the freedom, to marry is a social injustice. Our flag waves for liberty and justice for all. If we can't apply liberty and justice to all, we have to take down those flags, because we have denied America. We have turned our backs on the basic principal of America. We have bitch-slapped the Statue Of Liberty and called her a dirty whore while urinating on her sandals. It's un-American to be anti-freedom and anti-Americans. These are American people, you know? I know it's not the government. They work for the people of America. They can't be anti-American. In this day of economic turmoil an influx in weddings would be very good for the economy. Weddings are expensive. I know the wedding shops, flower shops, tuxedo rental places, caterers, etc… can't be against more weddings. I know conservatives aren't against same-sex marriage. They're ready, willing and excited to send off young men and women to die in foreign lands to fight for freedom, they wouldn't, couldn't, be against rights for any American. Unless American is just some conservative code for rich, white heterosexuals and doesn't apply to anyone else. I know the religious aren't against it. They're all for "family values" and the creation of more families is exactly what they want. I know gods aren't against it. According to mythology gods created Earth and all who inhabit it. I'm sure gods wouldn't like people discriminating against their creations. I know Jesus wouldn't be against it. He was a warrior for the oppressed, according to mythology. I know women aren't against it. It was less than 100 years ago women couldn't even vote. Up until recent decades the woman's place was in the kitchen and raising the children. They were expected to stay uneducated and out of the work force. I know black people aren't against it. If anyone knows oppression it's black people. After 500 years of slavery only to fight another century for civil rights, I know they can't be in favor of oppression of another human being. After great people like Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcolm X literally fought to the death for civil rights, I know black people wouldn't take a large dump on their legacies to impose similar social injustices on another group of people. No black person outside of Uncle Ruckus would demand Rosa Parks move to the back of the bus, so how could any black person champion such and injustice when applied to anyone?
So who could possibly be behind this anti-freedom attack on Americans? The media? The same media that portrays black people as gangstas and drug dealers. The same media that portrays Mexicans as lazy and stupid immigrants who steal all our jobs, because they will work for less money. How the fuck is a lazy muthafuckah gonna steal your job unless you're more lazy? The same media that perpetrates racism, when racism can't exist due to the fact that there is only one race of human beings. The same media that over-hypes our differences to keep us segregated, because a divided people are much easier to control than a united people.
Is it linguists? Linguists who are so determined to not allow the slightest disparity in the meaning of a word that they will stop at nothing to maintain the word's definition. Linguists who have created their very own Legion Of Doom dead set on the oppression of homosexuals. Homosexuals who selfishly want to defile the definition of the word marriage just so they can have the same rights as heterosexuals. Seriously, let this one go. Go after the muthafuckaz who insist on ending sentences with prepositions. Round them up give them shock therapy or something, 'cause I hate those muthafuckaz. But the word marriage can mean, "an (alleged) eternal bond between two people who (supposedly) love each other very much and are (not at all) completely devoted to their (shallow and loveless) relationship." By including the bracketed parts heterosexuals can still use this definition.
Maybe it's terrorists. We've been told over and over that terrorists are jealous of our freedoms. It only makes sense that they would try to usurp whatever American rights they could. Terrorists hate America and everything for which America stands. They hate American people. They would love to cause dissent throughout the American people. They would love to divide America with an internal struggle, which in turn would distract from their doings, while they carry-out their next attacks until they finally cause the whole American structure to fall. An evil and ingenious plan, but we're far too smart to let that happen. We are Americans. We are the most powerful country in the world and we will not allow ourselves to be fooled into hating ourselves like some Jerry Springer freak show. We are fighting a war on terrorism, not a war on Americanism.
Even if it's not the terrorists, keeping rights from people is terrorism. There is, OBVIOUSLY, no valid argument for Proposition 8. Proposition 4 is a dangerous muthafuckah, too. No on 8. No on 4. Don't vote away our rights. Voting against our rights is like flinging dookie on every American soldier throughout our history who has fought, died and/or been seriously injured to defend our freedoms, except the confederates, who were fighting for slavery, you may inundate them with shit. Thank you, California.
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One & I'm done.
Peace,
D
~ThugRadio.Net~
~MySpace.Com/TheMuthafuckinD~
~Sample The Comedy Of D For Free~
~Love, Life, Humor & Revolution: My Book Of Rhymes~
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